What card should I get for someone who has everything?

Buying a card for someone who “has everything” is rarely about the gift — it’s about not buying something pointless.

They don’t need more stuff. They don’t want clutter. And they definitely don’t want anything overly sentimental. So the safest option is a card that feels considered, funny, and a bit knowing.

Here’s how to choose one that actually lands.

1. Choose humour over novelty

When someone has everything, novelty wears thin very quickly.

A funny card with dry or understated humour tends to feel more thoughtful than something gimmicky. It shows you’ve put a bit of thought into the tone rather than just grabbing the loudest option.

👉 This is where our funny cards tend to work best — they’re designed to feel deliberate, not disposable.

2. Go for something culturally familiar

Cards that reference shared taste — British comedy, cultural moments, or recognisable humour — feel more personal than generic messages.

They work especially well for people who already own everything they need, because the value isn’t in the object, it’s in the recognition.

👉 That’s why our Alan Partridge cards are often chosen for people who are hard to buy for.

3. Avoid anything too emotional

People who “have everything” usually don’t want a big emotional statement either.

A short, funny line is often far more appreciated than a heartfelt message that feels like it’s trying too hard. You can always say something meaningful in person — the card just needs to get the tone right.

4. Cards that work for any occasion are safer

If you’re unsure how much emphasis to put on the occasion itself, an any-occasion card can be a smart choice.

It keeps things relaxed and avoids turning the moment into something bigger than it needs to be.

👉 Our funny cards for any occasion are a good option when you want something that works without over committing.

The takeaway

For someone who has everything, the best card is one that:

• doesn’t try to impress
• feels specific rather than generic
• and makes them smile without effort

A good joke beats a big gesture every time.