What card should I get for someone who hates birthdays?

What card should I get for someone who hates birthdays?

Some people love birthdays.

Others would rather pretend the whole thing isn’t happening.

If you’re buying a card for the second type of person, the usual balloons, glitter and “make a wish!” nonsense just won’t land. The key is choosing a card that acknowledges their dislike of birthdays, instead of fighting it.

Here’s how to get it right.

1. Go for dry or understated humour

If someone hates birthdays, it’s usually because they hate fuss, not fun.

Cards with dry humour, sarcasm, or an understated joke feel knowing rather than forced. Think less celebration and more shared eye-roll. A simple line that gently mocks the occasion will always beat something loud and sentimental.

👉 This is where our birthday cards work best — they’re designed for people who’d rather laugh quietly than be sung at.

2. Choose a card that feels like an in-joke

The best birthday cards don’t feel like “a birthday card” at all.

Cultural references, awkward humour, or something recognisable from TV or British comedy can turn the card into a private joke instead of an obligation. It shows you actually know the person — which matters more than the occasion itself.

👉 If that sounds right, our Alan Partridge cards are popular with people who appreciate dry, slightly uncomfortable humour.

3. Avoid anything too sentimental

If they hate birthdays, they probably don’t want:

  • heartfelt speeches
  • emotional declarations
  • paragraphs about how amazing they are

A simple, funny line is often perfect. You can always say something meaningful in person — the card just needs to not make them cringe.

4. When in doubt, keep it minimal

Sometimes the safest option is a card that barely acknowledges the birthday at all.

Something subtle, ironic, or observational lets the recipient decide how much importance they give the day. It says “I remembered” without making a big thing of it.

👉 Our funny cards for any occasion are a good place to look if you want something that works without screaming birthday.

In short...

If someone hates birthdays, the best card is one that:

  • doesn’t try too hard
  • doesn’t get emotional
  • feels personal rather than preformative

A bit of dry humour goes a long way.

Back to blog